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You might be a Floridian if:
  • You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first names of Charley, Frances or Ivan
  • Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it any given time
  • You're looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to accent the house color
  • You think of your interior bathroom as "cozy"
  • Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in"
  • Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it
  • You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months
  • You, too, haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster
  • You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase really means
  • You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from your neighborhood
  • You have a 5 gallon bucket of roofing tar in the garage
  • You were once proud of your 16" electric chain saw
  • Your Street has more than 3 "NO WAKE" signs posted
  • You now own 5 large ice chests
  • You can cook "anything" on a propane grill
  • You own more than two portable propane tanks
  • Your parrot can now say" hammered, pounded and hunker down"
  • You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations
  • You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your street
  • You're depressed when they don't stop
  • You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood,
  • roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer
  • You've spent more than $20 on "Tall white kitchen bags" to make your own sand bags
  • You're considering upgrading your 16" to a 20" chainsaw
  • You know what "Bar chain oil" is
  • You're thinking of getting your wife the hardhat with the ear protector and face shield for Christmas
  • You now think the $8000 generator seems reasonable
  • You own more than one 5 gallon gas can
  • You know how to "backfeed" 240 through the dryer plug
  • You look forward to discussions about the merits of "cubed, block and dry ice"
  • Your therapist refers to your condition as "generator envy"
  • You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade around in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your neighbor across the street, with the noisy generator, doesn't get electricity
  • And finally, you might be a Floridian if:…
    … you ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate classifieds!